It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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