it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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