why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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