I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
