hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
