Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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