I'd wear matching sweaters with you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
