people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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