This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
