Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
