Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Blood and glitter go together right?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
