Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
