Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
