I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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