Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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