so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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