Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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