Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
