Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
