you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Drunk is a universal language darling
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