to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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