Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
