i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
