I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
