a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
NoShamevember. You game?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
