youre lurking in front of me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
