i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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