i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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