Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We need a shit load of segways right now
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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