Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
