Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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