marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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