I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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