Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
