We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
