D3 body, D1 cock
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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