And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize