Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
