So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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