I intend to get homeless drunk
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
