perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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