You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
