thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
