If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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