Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
