where does the pee come out of this thing
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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