I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
