coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
