were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
