can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
