Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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