so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
