It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
